POST ABORTION
"They said it would be over in an hour. Sign a few papers. Simple procedure. Rest a bit. Back to work in the afternoon and it's done. They said I wouldn't regret a thing, but it's night and the apartment is so still. I can hear my cat purring in my ear. I can sleep all night in peace, but in the night I hear her crying. Not in a crib. In my mind. And I can see her face, but I can't hold her. They said I wouldn't remember a thing, but I can't forget. Dear God, I can't forget!"
Abortion is forever, and the memory never goes away. As the years pass, your child will grow up in your mind. On what would have been your child's first birthday, you will remember the abortion. On what would have been your child's first major holiday, you will remember the abortion and mentally picture your baby as enjoying the festivities. On what would have been the child's first year in school, you will remember the abortion and mentally picture your child meeting his or her teacher for the first time. On what would have been your child's entry into teenage hood, you will remember the abortion and mentally be singing "Happy Birthday" to your thirteen year old. On what would have been your child's high school graduation, you will remember the abortion and mentally watch your child receive his or her diploma. Twenty-five years from now or so, you will mentally see your aborted child say, "I do," in a marriage ceremony. Thirty years from now you will imagine the grandchildren that this child might have given you.
You can abort a child from your body, but you can't abort a child from your mind. Why?
Because, no matter how early you are in your pregnancy, you have already bonded with your baby. Bonding is a natural and perfectly normal response. You may even have a sense of whether your baby is a boy or a girl. "But," you say, "I know some women who had abortions and they say are glad they did and that their abortions didn't bother them." Your friends are probably not lying. Some women are immediately upset following an abortion. Others are not bothered about it until months and sometimes years later. This is because, at the time, abortion appears to solve a great many problems and the woman feels a sense of relief at seemingly being able to have things back the way they were before she became pregnant. However, as time goes on, circumstances change.
Women mature. They begin to look back on their decisions and see them in a new way. They get pregnant again with a planned child. They think of the one they didn't have. Or they can't get pregnant again. Or they see a newborn baby and suddenly they are struck by the child they aborted. Something happens and women begin to grieve.
Every normal woman whose emotions are healthy will grieve at some point for her aborted child. These emotions can often be overwhelming. Some mothers have to go for counseling. Others fall into substance abuse or abusive relationships or become workaholics or overprotective moms. Others can't seem to continue relationships with men.
A baby isn't the only thing lost during an abortion. Abortion does not make things the way they used to be. Nothing can ever be the same after an abortion because the woman knows that she was pregnant and that she aborted her baby. That knowledge will change her forever.
Abortion is forever.
Don't you owe it to yourself to know your real choices before you schedule an abortion?
If you are grieving over an abortion, call us. We can help you. or call Project Rachel at (401) 467-9395
Woman to Woman Support Network, Inc.
1341 West Main Road, Airport Plaza Unit 5
Middletown, RI 02842 (401) 841-9211
e-mail: jmartellino@home.com